Meeting Old Friends:
I spent some times in October and November meeting my former schoolmates. Those days were full of fun and excitement! Getting to know them, after the many changes, after 27 years! (Tagal na pala!). Having new friends and connections. And most of all– something outside from my usual routine!
My FB word for the day said: it’s about time I do the things that I like, after many years, to open new horizons and new dimensions, not to mention new opportunities, new doors! This is exciting! But what are the things that I like?
I want to invade the Northern part of Luzon… alone.
I want to learn how to drive…a car.
I want to move to a new place and set up a different christmas tree!
I will say “no” if I don’t feel good in going to the places I usually go to…just to work.
My used-to-be-double now single female friends said that there are a lot of things they can’t do alone after their hubbies were gone. They either go by group or don’t go na lang. This is the topic of discussion while strolling the SM The Block yesterday night, haunting for a smart casual dress. I got a “Oww?” when I said I do watch movie, dine out, travel, stroll and mall, shop, play in amusement places, have a cup of coffee or tea, etc, etc… alone! Yeah, alone!
At first, it’s awkward and nakaka conscious, sad, feeling mo “mukha kang tanga”,and nakakatakot.
but it’s not!
it’s fun and thrilling… to conquer your fear!
and here I am… independent. Only one thing lacking…
a someone.
It’s not easy to conquer one’s fear, God understands it. What He will not understand is when we let our fear conquer our whole being.
My Mom bought a small poster but didn’t post it in our wall maybe because she realized the thought written on it is a non-sense. I found it inside a cabinet and posted it beside the bed.. cause I found in it a lot of good sense. I read it every morning a loud and found it working in my spiritual and emotional muscles:
” This day I am alive and all the world is mine!”
I Was Wrong This Morning:
I cast doubt on someone’s attitude this morning. The culprit, is because no matter how hard I try to understand this person’s behavior, I end up pissed if not discouraged to decipher what’s in his mind. I was wrong!
Difficult people are sometimes God sent to us to strenghten our reaction and emotional systems. To teach us understanding and love, most of all. God loved everybody, regardless of their behavior and attitude. He loves us unconditionally.
I forgot, maybe because it’s not yet deeply rooted inside…
That there is no such thing as conditional love, or it’s not love at all. Love has no reason because if it has then it’s not love. Unconditional love has no reason. It’s not based on the other person’s attitude or behavior, rather it is based on you. God’s love for us is based on Himself not on us, because we’re incapable of loving Him. So I appreciated and understood the I Corinthians 13 concept of love.
Now I understand why the Lord sent this difficult person to me.
Now I realized I was wrong yesterday morning. I hope he understands. I believe he did.
Di nya nga ako binabati eh! Ha ha!
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