No one in the house is allowed to borrow my pillow. Not even my kids.
I got married and had kids and my pillows stayed with me. I lost my husband and all, my pillow stayed with me. When I travel, it is the first thing I pack in my bag.
I hug it when am sad. I carry it around the house when am alone. It is the sole witness to my tears at nights. It has mantsa ng tears... ayan na naman!! haha
In the time, people are looking for the documents that will serve as my only evidence for what am fighting for... they have turned my house upside down, they can't find it.... my pillow hid them inside it!
Then one day, in a trip, someone noticed my red-cased pillow. She hugged it and said, " Hmmm.... ang lambot naman ng unan mo 'teh! Sarap yakapin! " I smiled and proudly said, "that's my favorite pillow... I grew up with it !"
Days past.... the same friend visited my house, out of courtesy.. she stays long. During coffee times, she borrowed my pillow to hug between her knees. I feel a little uneasy about it, but because she's my friend... I shrugged the feeling away.... let her hold my pillow.
One night, I arrived home tired and out... wanting to rest..... something's missing..... my pillow.
Looking for it.... to my dismay, she had it under her head! I was angry but I kept my mouth shut! Maybe she will return it the next morning.
Next day afternoon, she texted me.... " Alis na aq sis ! Thank you sa accommodation...."
Home after dark...... time to sleep..... something's missing....... MY FRIEND TOOK MY PILLOW WITH HER!! I texted her about my pillow and she said.... " Oooohhhh, remembrance mo nlang sa akin! Thank you hah!"
I was so angry! But I kept my mouth shut! I was too trusting... too naive to let her hold my precious pillow!
Up to now, am missing my pillow.... yes, I can make another one. But the way it was made..that is irreplaceable! My grandmother is dead. Our old house in the island was gone. The childhood memories I kept in it. The tears I shed on it. The words I burried in it when am crying. The smell. The comfort it brings -- they are irreplaceable!
I don't want to be naive anymore. I lost so much because of my " walang masamang tinapay" attitude.
My pillow was replaced by people dear to me... people I love so deep... people I care so much..people I will fight for.... people who loves me so dearly.
" my sun doesn't shine without you."
