"Little Star

entre: Standing At the Edge of the Earth

5:18pm

I decided to write this blog for a person who didn't make it writing my life in a book...because she thinks mine deserves to land on pocketbooks...ayyy..

I didn't make it to her last minute on earth because of, you know what...what else is new?

We knew her through connections. Shes respected for her idealistic concepts on our vocation as educators in this struggle for quality but affordable education. And she worked with us as our principal for a year and consultant for 2 years. When I took office in 2006, when all Board of Trustees and Directors left and I was alone to save the dignity and name of my fellows and the institution, that, the darkest night in my profession-- she stood as my personal consultant and 4th mother till the time she died. She knew all my struggles, hardships and labor working alone to bring to life a dying institution. I made it! And shes one of the people behind my success.. success which my fellows cannot accept as one. Well, I did it silently, without telling anyone about everything I did. Their minds were locked in the past when they walked away without a do.. so as their thoughts about her.

When she knew Christ personally, I was the first one she called to tell that she did. And she rejoiced over my decision to go father than earning money for myself. She understood my calling. She happily told me she was given the task to make heralds for her church. The glow in her face, the answer to my prayer which she never knew I had for her.

When I was away to a far place, she often calls my office to remind my 2nd hand about her tasks and the memos I have to comply to. Shes so concerned...sobra! Although at that time, she's handling a big institution near mine. She showed me how a DepEd official thinks, and the way around. She encouraged me to speak out and do whats in my mind to make things right... well she's a very tough woman at her age. Someone who walks with regal in spite of many people who criticize and dislike her honesty and humanitarian concept on education.

I usually come to her house at night to share choco drinks with her.... reminding me always of my tiresome lifestyle and my addiction to coffee..... and the ripening time for me to look for someone... that money doesn't matter anymore since I got almost everything. But when I lost again...she never heard from me, nor did she saw my face... for I didn't want her see me bear the pain. And I thought she will get mad at my decision to stop. But..... she died, unexpectedly.... and I was so shocked! She learned my fall, but she never saw my rising.

She taught me that education is not only a business but a vocation. Influencing lives is far more valuable than earning millions. That a name is better than a bank account full of money.

She got some shares of sweet things too...and a secret only the two of us knows..... a sweet secret she told me with giggles.

Above all things, what I cannot forget is how she taught me to be regal at all times, minding my composure and my posture specially in times of tears, shame, jealousy and shambles.... oh I fail in moment of threat. That silence is not better when you need to save something.

We have the same namesung..... Tess. Hers is a "little star" while mine is " bitter".

I lost again...

What composure are you talking about crying before your lifeless body?? Nah!! See you one day under the tree of life at 3pm.... when my time was over.