When God Sent A " Kalabasa"

I missed the praising part in the church.... I sat at the back.

Comparison between Samson and Jonah was the topic on the pulpit. It was an interactive one. Who's life is better? Everybody will be asked, I thought...and I tried to recall the stories of those two different persons in the Bible, while my cellphone was beeping...it's Pau, nagging on me!

In between beeps, I managed to give an opinion.... I chose Samson! While I should have chosen Jonah! I can relate more with Jonah, but what happened to me...I don't know. hahaha! But I enjoyed the exchanges of opinions between the members of the church. I laughed for every statement thrown out to me....I missed this laughing.

Jonah won! hahahaha!

As if was seeing a mirror : Jonah was good in his life but failed in his mission. He ran away because he wants to take revenge to the race who killed his people, by not telling them how God wants to love and forgive them for doing so. But at the end, Jonah obeyed not out of his heart but out of duty as a prophet. And God spared Niniveh but Jonah was left angry. God sent Jonah a gourd with giant leaves to protect him from the sun, but when the night came, He sent a worm to devour the plant..to make Jonah understand God's heart. But still Jonah was angry.

I didn't fail my life.... but I was taken out of my life. I didn't fail in my mission, but I was taken out of it. And I don't understand why. I know I don't have the right to ask why...just like Jonah. (A lot of people are praying for me...but it seems there is no answer to their prayers, even to mine.)

And I was angry and down. Angry because I didn't pay much attention to myself before and angry because I lost everything now . Down, all my plans were ruined. My dream was gone. And I am stocked in the house like a patient..... Uuuu..... I am a patient! hahaha! But I don't like it! I don't like any of this thing happening.

Till God sent a cover upon my head.... but I only realized that this morning. And my mind razed to who that was? or what was it? And I found out who and what is that "kalabasa".

Why should I be angry? Is not God the God who works and the God who rests? .... I am resting. And this is a sabbatical rest.. Aha!

Oh, I don't have the right to be angry.

Why should I be down and out? Is not God the God of grace and mercy? Is He not the God who created joy and pleasure? ...... I was just given the time to heal all my wounds and find happiness which I was praying for, with the bonus of enjoyment.

I am so glad the Lord remained quiet and didn't make "sabay" to my temperaments, or else I would have been like Jonah, shaken by the storm inside the ship, till he was thrown to the sea and the sea became calm. Yeah, God has shaken me out from my busy days and works.....forcefully till I had no choice but to rest. Still I don't know what His reason might be. But am glad He sent a gourd to make me sit down and think under the heat of the "sun" of my life.

My mom said, "find peace in your situation".... and I did, just now.

Bernard is part of the gourd God sent me. This sweet one makes my rest a memorable one. He is like an ice on my head and a sugar to my coffee. He teaches me to be cool and to choose between ignoring and minding. Between simplicity and complexity. Something a bit hard for me to learn.


Signing off....