Hannah

I saw how this little girl came to this world. Her mother a single mom now. Her father left them when she was only 2 years old. She got a brother younger than her. She was like every ordinary kid when she was born and everybody thinks that she's an ordinary kid.

Every time we have weight monitoring in the community, we always find her under weight and under height.... I always say to her mom, " Hindi mo ba ito pinapakain? Bakit parang hindi lumalaki?". But her mom will always reply, " Ang lakas nga po kumain nyan teacher! "

Ayyy..

This little kid we call Hannah is not 4 years old and she think and speak like a 1 year old child.

Yup. she is a special child. As I study her case, she has a developmental delay. But no one treats her as a special child. All of us treat her like we do to every kid living here...as if she has no delay.

One day, I arrived to the community after a long time of being away, she ran towards me and because she was so small, she was shoved away by the other children who also ran to hug me. I noticed her just staring from a distance. When all the kids are gone, I said hello and extended my hands to her. With a big smile on her face she hugged me and said, " I miss you 'cher!"

Wow, english!! I was amazed ! Sino nagturo sau? ..... walang sagot.

Her "I miss you 'cher!" was added by " I wab u 'cher!" ... ha?? Oh, it's " I love you 'cher!"...she can't pronounce the "love" clearly. And she always say those words with hugs and caressing my samsonite hair. She likes my hair I think.

Now for years, she does it always..she doesn't care how many times she say those words to me in one day as she follows me around the community while working or having my talks. She sings with me. Chat with me under the aratiles though she knows I don't understand every word she's trying to say. Yet she never tires. I find my day lacking a note without seeing her. She's a happy little child...skinny, fragile and so small yet super happy! It her am always asking for how when am away and last Christmas, I saved the most beautiful doll I got from the toy campaign for her. Of all the kids, you bet- she was the only one who hugged me and say " en u cher! I wab u cher!".

She touch my heart and every one who sees her... a child without malice singing with us when we sing for the Lord..dancing and clapping her hands as she moment by moment come near me ....to hug me and say, " I wab u 'cher."

Yesterday, she followed me around again. After cooking my food, I felt a pain in my heart and I slumped on the floor.. no one aside from me and her was there. She can't understand what's going on... but she kept repeating my name.. I cant' move, holding my chest...she came near and hugged me repeating my name.. I felt she understood. And I said, " Mbal aku alaan.." (Hindi aq aalis ). She left. Matagal. And I was able to go inside the house. Then her aunt came and asked how I was. And Hannah was at her back staring at me. And I said, " mbal aq ahap apa amole' na ka'am. Akuy atuli na" ( I am not good but you can go home. I will just rest sleep).

As I stood in the on the ground facing the mountains by the gate, that night, I knew I need to pray. I thought of Hannah and I realized I need not give up living. I have to continue loving. It is not the people I love who failed me but it is I who failed myself by depraving myself of a chance to be happy because I was afraid.

Ang seryoso ko naman... baka aq ma comatose nyan!